Real success comes from helping others in a real way

About a year ago, when we were out for a walk, we came across a family working in a woodsy area down the street.  As we stopped and talked to them, we learned that they had just purchased the acreage.  The couple, along with their kids, was in the throes of excitement over their new acquisition and had begun clearing out a small patch of the land.

They explained that they owned a house nearby, which they were going to sell, and planned to build on this new property.  I felt so excited for this young family with big dreams and hope for their future.  

Over the past year, I never saw them again.  The area they cleared is now beginning to be covered with some overgrowth, and instead of a house, real estate signs have gone up.

Call me strange, but it makes me sad.  Were they unable to sell their house?  Did they get divorced?  Was it too expensive for them to build?

I don’t suppose I will ever know what happened, but I do know that their dream never materialized, for whatever reason, and it makes me sad to think that it has been dashed.  Somehow, it feels like a light went out for this family.

We all have dreams, or at least we should, because dreams give us hope for the future.  In fact, I myself always fantasized about building a house in the middle of the woods on property not very far from where the young family was building.  

As I imagined it, I would go out and sit on my deck and write and contemplate until my brain turned to mush (I chose to ignore the fact that the mosquitoes would drive me inside.)

And I guess the thing is, I knew it wouldn’t ever happen, and I was fine with that; it was just fun to imagine. 

I do think dreams propel us forward, though, and keep us from stagnating.  But, we must also be ready for the unexpected.  Clearly something happened in that family that changed the course of their direction.  

Anyway, I think it is important that whatever our goals are, whatever our dreams are, it is best if they are grounded in our faith, prompted by a desire to live out our vocation.  It is in living out our vocation that we find the most joy in life, even if it does not necessarily bring us the greatest ease.

I don’t suppose vocation is an idea that holds much meaning in our secular culture, but we do all have a vocation of some sort.  We have gifts that God has given us, and he expects us to use those to serve each other.  When we do, there is the high likelihood that we will have found our vocation.

Of course, figuring out our vocation may sometimes be a challenge, but if we are diligent and ask our heavenly Father, he will show us the way.

I have always felt that purposeful work is the most satisfactory.  There is something inside us that finds happiness in doing good.  Our acts can be big or small, it doesn’t matter, but if our work makes us feel like we are making a difference, helping someone in some way, that is key.

Very soon, many of our young people will be heading off to college, striving to find their path in life.  I hope they will think about their future in terms of their vocation, and seek that.

I know that money, position and power can often be held up as primary motivators for choosing a career, and after spending thousands of dollars on college tuition, going for a job that will offset that bill seems most reasonable, but such a job also has the potential to create a lifelong sense of vacuity and anxiety.

It is a great temptation to see success in terms of dollars and cents, but such success can come at a real price.  Even parents guiding their young adults can get off-track at times and lose sight of the value of teaching them to pray about their vocation and the need to patiently wait as it unfolds. 

If we can learn anything from the family down the road, perhaps it is that just because you begin something, it doesn’t mean that you can’t change directions, and that leaving one path behind and turning down another is not necessarily a sad thing.  

I hope for them that this is the case, and rather than the sale of their land being an indication of a lost dream, like I supposed, perhaps being relieved of it will free them to pursue a new direction for their family.  Maybe they will even discover a family vocation.  

I can hope, can’t I?
(The Catholic Times, August 16-22, 2014)

August 2, 2014 Our job is not to pull weeds, but to keep sowing

People often say that they don't "get" scripture, that it is a bunch of stories about people from long ago and it uses references that are not understood by us today. 

While it can be challenging at times to sift through some of the nuances that we are unfamiliar with, to the soul who is open to the Spirit's movement, and the willing learner, scripture can speak volumes.

Let me give you and example.

In the Gospel of Matthew we read about the Parable of the Weeds, which is found in Chapter 13, beginning at verse 24 and picking up again at verse 36. 

Jesus is telling a parable about a man who planted good seeds in his field and then his enemy came along and planted weeds among them.  His disciples were asking about whether or not the weeds should be pulled out.  Jesus said no, let them stay and grow alongside the good seeds, because they will be separated out in the end.

There are a few things we might pull out of this if we are seeking some personal relevance to us today.

First, God is the sower in the world, which is his field, and his children are the good seeds.  The weeds are the evil one's children that poison the field.

It is quite clear that the judgment at the time of the harvest is not up to us.  We are not the ones to uproot the weeds; God will take care of that.

But how often do we try to make ourselves the harvester as we pass judgments on those around us, criticizing their faults and getting mad at them over their actions?  We may have good intentions, but it is simply not our job to try to straighten everyone out!

Maybe we should share in the planting and try to strengthen the good.

This passage can also give parents insight when they are dealing with a child who is a good seed being influenced by weedy friends or the culture.

As a parent, ask yourself, “Am I trying to uproot the weeds from my child’s life?  Is that what the parable tells me to do?”  The problem is, weeds seem to increase and grow ever stronger roots the more we try to remove them.


Maybe uprooting the weeds is not our job.  Perhaps being the constant in their life, being a good sower, the person who continuously re-seeds, is what we are called to do as sharers in the mission.

When we try to be the harvester, we may cause greater division.  This can leave families in shambles as personal offenses turn into lifelong separations.  If we are about the business of reconciling and forgiving, we can see that making ourselves judge may be futile.

It seems to me that the enemy, the planter of the weeds, would love to see a family’s members warring with each other.  We have to be careful not to fall into this trap, even with our good intentions, because the evil one uses our goodness to deceive.

Let us do the work that God has given us to do, which is to love, especially those who most challenge us.  Sometimes being a sower involves withholding unkind words of judgment.  Sometimes it is allowing others to forge their own path, even if it is not the one we would lay down.  Sometimes it means not getting lost in the present and retaining hope for future growth.

This work that we do can be a living act of spreading the gospel, which replaces hurtful words with actions of kindness, extends offers of forgiveness and reconciliation where they are most needed, and purposefully leads others to Christ in the process.

Undeniably, scripture is very relevant to us today, for it is God speaking to us through his Word.  The question, of course, is will we be the people that Matthew says have ears and ought to hear?

In the first chapter of the Book of Joshua, the Lord is speaking to Joshua after Moses has died.  In speaking about the entire law given to Moses, the Lord says, “Do not swerve from it either to the right or to the left, that you may succeed wherever you go.  Keep this book of the law on your lips.  Recite it by day and by night, that you may observe carefully all that is written in it; then you will successfully attain your call.”

The point is, we are to take God’s word to heart and live it.  We should know it so well that it is central to our way of life, and clearly, it is to be recited and observed, not just lived in silence.
(The Catholic Times, August 2-8, 2014)

Do you live in fear, or trust?

A reflection on Matthew 14: 22 +

Jesus sent his disciples into a boat, dismissed the crowds that were following him, and then went up the mountain alone to pray.  The boat carrying the disciples was a few miles offshore, being tossed around by the waves because of a strong wind against it.

Jesus approached the disciples, walking on the water.  They thought they were seeing a ghost and "cried out in fear."  Jesus told them "Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid."

Peter offered up a challenge that led to Jesus calling him out on the water.  When Peter was on the water, the strong wind frightened him and he began to sink.  He cried out to Jesus, "Lord, save me!" and Jesus "stretched out his hand and caught him," saying "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?  From this exchange, those in the boat exclaimed Jesus as the Son of God.

It is easy for us to ridicule Peter for stepping out in faith, only to allow that faith to waver at the first sign of fear as he began to sink, but when you think about it, at least Peter knew where to turn when he was in trouble.

Do you?

Or do you allow your fears to overwhelm you whenever you begin to sink, rather than grasp the outstretched hand of God that is available to save you?

Do you try to save yourself, or look for salvation in places that leave you more anxious and fearful?

We really should not be too rough on Peter because, first of all, he had the courage to step out on faith, and secondly, he knew where to turn when he wavered.

Stepping out on faith is something Christians must do throughout their life if they are going to follow the way of Jesus.  We do not know what tomorrow will bring, and sometimes this is frightening, but to stand still goes against our foundation as missionary people.

Jesus says "Come" to Peter, which is transformed into "Go" for all of us.  This is the final commissioning of the disciples at the end of Matthew's Gospel, where Jesus tells them, "Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the holy Spirit."

To do this is to step out on the water and grasp the hand of Jesus whenever we begin to fear or feel as if we are going to sink.

The very last words of Matthew's Gospel are:  "And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age."

Do we doubt this, or do we live in trust that it is true?

What is the point of prayer without God?

I decided that I needed a larger filing cabinet for my office and made a deal to trade my two little ones for a larger one.

As always happens when you start moving things around, I inadvertently lost the space I had set aside on one of the little cabinets for my paper shredder and recycling box. Since the new cabinet was taller, I needed to find a new place for them.  I thought I would try balancing my recycling box on a narrow register where it did not fit very well.

When my secretary walked into my office to put something in the tottering recycling box, she remarked that it was a bit precarious, indicating it was in danger of falling.  I heartily agreed.

You can imagine my surprise when I learned in an article in the Reader’s Digest (April, 2014, How We Pray) that “The word pray is derived from the Latin word precarious, which means “to obtain by entreaty or begging.”  This could be used, for example, to say, “I pray you will continue reading.”

Our reference to precarious, however, was also accurate as used to indicate something is lacking foundation or unstable.

Anyway, that is not really my point. It is just a long way to get to my actual point about the article.  In it they quoted Americans speaking about prayer and said that 86 percent of us pray.  I initially thought that sounded pretty good, until I learned how we apparently view prayer.  

One man said he sees prayer as a way to talk to God directly, that he speaks with him as a friend.  The Catholic contribution was on the Rosary and the Holy Mother.  Aside from the awkward allusion to Mary as a “higher power,” I couldn’t argue with prayer as communicating to God directly or the importance of the Rosary.

I think the article went off track with the Jewish couple.  Apparently they both grew up as nonobservant Jews and wanted something more for their children.  Now you and I might think that means a deeper faith, since they put their kids in Hebrew school, but they did this “not because we had an overwhelming spiritual belief,” but because they wanted community and a Jewish identity (not that there is anything wrong with wanting either of these, of course.)

I thought, at least they were trying, until I read on. They explained that when they say their Sabbath prayers, they don’t use God or Lord, but rather, Creator.  Why?  

Because “‘Even if I don’t believe in God,’ she said, ‘I didn’t create my own self.  Prayer is a way of reminding myself of that and teaching my children to remember a position of humility.  It’s a way of recognizing the bigness of things so far beyond ourselves.  I don’t think that’s a man with a beard who has a plan, but I do believe that things are a lot bigger than any one of us. That attitude has been tremendously helpful to me in good and bad times.’”

I am starting to realize that for some people, prayer isn’t about being in a relationship with God, but simply a helpful practice in mindfulness. It is about making me a better person.  It is about making me calm and peaceful. 

Is that what prayer is about? Could our cultural tendency toward egoism (“it’s all about me”) be redefining prayer? We do seem to be big on redefining things these days, don’t we?

Anyway, I think I am finally beginning to understand how people who do not believe in God can say they pray.  I have always been confused by this, for if I take God out of the equation, then who, or what am I praying to? If prayer is supposed to include adoration and love, or even petition, who are we adoring, loving, and petitioning, if not God?

I can see now, that it is not the who, or the what, but the why. 

The Reader’s Digest article continued, acknowledging that prayer is practiced by people who have separated it from “religion or spirituality.”  Atheists and agnostics can take it to be “a means of projecting goodwill into the world.”  You focus your mind “on a hopeful outcome” by thinking about “the people you love and your wishes for them,” with the hope that “maybe that will put beneficial energy out there.”

Oh, if it were only true that I could have this kind of power emanating from my mind.

Sarcasm aside, a New Jersey mom said that she doesn’t give thanks to God, but she does “try to stop and give thanks for things throughout the day” for the sunrise, her kids and dogs. Who is she giving thanks, too, the cosmos?

Another family does not say grace, but they do “hold hands and smile at each other in a moment of gratitude for being together.”  How sweet, but who are they expressing this gratitude to? 

To add to this feeble perception of prayer, the article concluded by noting that people who do not identify with a particular religion use the word prayer ‘to describe an emotional psychological space that holds both anxiety and hope.’

Pray tell, does our evolving definition of prayer seem precarious to you?

[The Catholic Weekly & Times,  July 19-25, 2014]